Relationship Secrets

For many women, happiness means to love and be loved. However, why keeping this happiness is so difficult? Why we cannot love each other and be happy together even after years of marriage?

Wise Leo Tolstoy wrote: “All happy families are happy the same way, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” It is generally accepted not to argue with the classics.

Relationship secrets . 5 reasons

Family psychotherapist, particularly with long practice, is able to analyze thousands of marriages where happiness turned into a disaster. And if the percentage of marriages where therapist was able to deploy this trend in the opposite direction is high, this means he coped with the problem and managed to correctly discern the reasons that led to disaster.

My friend said all the ills and troubles that of happy marriages occur only due to one of five reasons:

1. Sexual incompatibility

2. Different views on leisure

3. Financial problems

4. Lacks of partner’s character

5. Differences in child rearing

If a man and a woman still love each other, but somehow cannot live together, not to mention being happy together, there is a need to find out real causes and use relationship secrets. And if you identify them correctly, then all is reparable.

All five causes are eliminated through search for compromises, depending on specific circumstances of each family. Happy life together is experience of endless concessions. And the emphasis is not on the fact you adapt under someone, but that you find a way to be happy together. And here you are not a defeatist, but winner.

Relationship secrets . 7 axioms

Of total abundance of statements I selected 7 of these axioms that I think are important for happy family life.

“Real marriage gives freedom, rather than a new dependency.”

“We need to stay a man and woman for each other, without becoming old house slippers.”

“Buying a gift is a very cheap way to please your beloved. ”

“Quarrel is an ugly dispute.”

“You’re angry, then you are not right” (Greek wisdom)

"Freedom of one person ends where another one’s freedom begins. ”

“All is in your hands” (Eastern parable)

Since these are axioms, I have to accept them as a fact that does not require any explanation or evidence.

3 Taboos

Although we have long lived in a free society, all the same a small number of taboos will be useful.

Do not criticize!

Criticism is the path of war. Once one person starts criticizing, another one will instinctively protect himself. In addition, a critic is directed to negative and all positive ceases existing for him. So, a critic is not objective a priori. Who would listen to non-objective position? And most importantly, if you want to be heard, you should dispose a person to yourself. Is it possible to dispose with criticism?

Do not try to change your partner!

This is generally the root of all evils in family life, a perennial rake everyone faces. Well, you cannot a person! Mankind remembers no such precedents. People change only voluntarily. How to encourage them to do so - that’s what is worth thinking about.

Do not nag!

Partners tend to idealize each other. They believe their man / woman (however, the same applies to a child) must be perfect. They can easily forgive a third person, understand and justify him, but they will certainly reproach a loved one. But attacks and recriminations are killing. They kill love. And without love you cannot be happy.

3 Appeals

Be careful!

If loving people would at first see, feel their partners, and only then become overfilled with their own feelings, too many conflicts could be avoided. Learning not being selfish is very important. Without it, you cannot create common happiness. Because joint happiness supposes another one’s happiness.

Be thankful!

How many times I have heard a surprise in this regard: “Why should I be thankful?” Be thankful for some particular case, it’s just education. But being thankful in general is a true gratitude. Be thankful you’ve got your loved one close to you, that he is so special, not like anybody else.

Be polite!

Remember, the way you communicate with people, above all, characterizes you. Do not fall to shouting, insults, humiliation. Still, they will not lead to a desired result. A hysterical lady, alas, cannot be a subject of admiration, passion, love. And ever since it may happen that the number of your unbalanced outbreaks will become enough to qualitatively change your partner’s attitude to you.

1 Tip

“My man is always right.” Why? First, because who can defend him, if not you? Secondly, even when he is not right, he has the right to be wrong. And your task is not identifying his wrong, but help correcting the position.

1 Request

Learn making pauses. Do not hurry, like a bull to a red cloth, do not respond instantly to all. During the surge of emotions we often poorly see the true meaning. Most quarrels occur due to misunderstandings.

1 Relationship Secret

The secret is revolutionary, I warn. Ready? Happiness does not depend on external circumstances. All around us causes no evil, until we decide this is evil. Everything is determined by our attitude to what is happening. We make ourselves happy and unhappy.

In general, as Kouzma Proutkov said: “If you want to be happy, be happy!”